Do you wish you could return to a moment in your past?

        Back in elementary school, there were only a couple of people that I talked to, despite having been with the entire class for 5 entire years. In order to preserve anonymity, let’s call them Olivia, John, and Lauren (very basic names, I know). I had been suspicious of John and Olivia’s relationship for some time by 5th grade. One day, I asked Olivia if she liked John, and after realizing I was right, I proceeded to tell the rest of the class.

        I only ever talked to John in school, but I’d say we still talked to each other a good amount. On the other hand, Olivia, Lauren, and I would not too often, but still sometimes visit each others’ homes and do what any other would do. We ran around, played video games, watched TV shows, or just talked together. Overall, I think I was pretty content with my elementary school life.

        I think part of the reason why John talked to me was because he was just generally a popular guy. It seemed like most of the girls were talking to him at some point, and I know multiple had a crush on him at some point, but he never really seemed to have a crush on any of them, except for one person.

 
        I always felt like Olivia and John had something going on between them during 5th grade. This wild idea that they may have liked each other was compounded by a certain day. We were sitting in class on the school rug. I remember them whispering something in each other’s ear and smiling right after. I asked them what they had told each other, and they told me it was a secret, of course. I think I had a pretty good idea of what they told each other at the time, but I’m even more confident now.

        As some time passed, I noticed Olivia started to change the way she looked, which she had never done before. It might have been a silly idea, but I immediately linked her changing her looks to the possible crush she had on John.

        One day, I was messaging Olivia on Google Hangouts. I don’t remember how or why, but I asked her if she liked John. She then followed with a “Did John tell you this?”, implying that it was true. I was so surprised to learn that John actually had a crush on someone. I replied to her, “Yes”, but that was false. Honestly, I still think it was brainless for me to think they liked each other. But somehow, I was right. Olivia got mad and said she would have to talk to John for spilling secrets, at which point I started bursting out laughing. I thought to myself, “No way. They actually like each other?” I told her that I would be telling everyone in the group chat, despite her pleading with me not to, and I did exactly just that.

        At the time, I didn’t know anything about love. And, I certainly didn’t know what emotions Olivia might have been going through as I told the entire group chat. And yet, the next day, we continued to chat. I don’t think she ever even mentioned that day. It was almost like it didn’t happen. Another classmate did confront me about it, but I think that was it.

        Obviously, I regret telling the class now greatly. I tried to find some justification in an attempt to further develop this essay, but I only found one tiny reason. I think I did feel a twinge of jealousy. I might have felt like Olivia was being pulled away from me, especially so when considering I only had a few close friends. But, that is certainly not a good enough reason, and I wish I could go back to this moment to fix my mistake.